Article by Ngure Kanjumba
Now here is the secret to gaining great confidence with women:
“The biggest confidence boost comes from success; the 2nd comes from action.”
And what this means is that having success with women is not the only way to gain confidence. The simple act of taking action gives you a confidence that comes only from experience. And that confidence gained from action drives you towards continued action and eventual success with women.
So the problem has always been one of taking that first step.
Why? Because most men believe that the first step of taking action is the hardest step. And what you believe to be hard becomes hard to you. If you believe you can then you can, if you believe you can’t then you can’t; you are the master of your own reality.
You simply have to stopping putting so much importance and pressure on taking the first step of action.
Note that you are your own worst critic; no one is expecting you to be naturally good at something new to you. And most of the times, no one cares enough to notice how good or bad you are.
The whole mentality of “I am the centre of the world” and “Everyone is watching my every step and judging my every action” is the mindset that you need to get rid of.
The fact is that the odds are that you won’t be good at something you are trying for the first time. But do note that failure at something doesn’t make that thing hard.
“Failure is not a sign of difficulty; it is a sign of inexperience.”
You need to find the excitement behind the rush of taking the 1st step of action. Learn to enjoy an experience and the fear of uncertainty that comes from stepping out of your comfort zone is gone.
Remember that the lack of action, in this case, is always worse than failure.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
So this becomes a question of how do you breaking free of you comfort zones?
Well, for starters, you need to realize that comfort zones are nothing more than habits we have grown accustomed to. And habits can be broken rather easily by substituting them with other habits.
Humans are beasts of habit and you have a lot of habits: waking up at a certain time, watching certain weekly T.V. shows, playing certain games every week, going out to eat at certain place and the list goes on and on.
So create the positive habit of action into your everyday life. Simply do something new and social exciting everyday; like talking to 1 or 2 beautiful women everyday or trying some new cocky humor technique you just learnt.
Whatever it is, just keep doing it and before long it will be natural for you to do these things. It will have become a habit in your life; a habit that creates the social confidence with women.
So in summary, when you keep stepping out of your comfort zones, you make the action of stepping out of your comfort zone a habit and guess what else you will have gained out of your action… Confidence with women!
About the Author
Ngure Kanjumba is a recognized expert and author for articles related to Dating and Relationships